It sounds ridiculous, but J and I have been doing this new thing recently where we alternate being the “head honcho” of the day. Basically, we take turns having the ultimate decision-making power. One day I choose what we do as a family together and prioritize what I want or need to do for myself (without any complaint from J) and then the following day it’s J’s turn to do the same (without any complaint from me).
We had been arguing over how to spend our days and complaining about how little time we had to do the most trivial of things (à la “all I want is have a few minutes to call my cell phone company and change plans”). It seemed to be happening more and more for whatever reason/because we have a whole new human to care for around the clock who is apparently more of a dictator than “head honcho” of every single one of our days. Now, knock on wood, we are managing our chunks of free time better, and collectively feel more control over the outcome of each passing day/the rest of our foreseeable lives.
Adapting to sharing your life with a partner and finding balance can be hard. Adding a baby in the mix and finding equilibrium….no wait, that doesn’t happen.
When I told my sister about what J and I have been doing she thought the concept was great, but would be better adapted for her and her husband if it took place on the weekend. She is a stay-at-home mom and her husband works during the week, so she thought that they could alternate being “weekend-warriors”. One weekend one partner could have a lie-in or maybe a free night with friends without guilt and then pass the baton on for the following weekend. Genius.
Thoughts? How do you find balance?